Weekly Weigh-In 14.0

Weigh-In
Last weigh-in: 326.8 lbs
Current weigh-in: 329.8 lbs
Change: +3 lbs

Holy crap! Where did that come from? My biggest gain yet! Yikes! Granted, I did overdo the food intake a tiny bit this week. Between the birthday lunch, birthday dinner, and cake w/ice cream...plus maybe the incredibly delicious, yet not quite healthy, Chicken Enchiladas that I made this week...I can totally see where maybe a pound or 3 of that could've been avoided :-/

Although. Gosh. Those enchiladas were so good I can still almost taste them!

*ahem*

Next week is a new week. Right?

I've still not done the test for the Cushings Disease I talked about last week...I'm having a hard time being home for a whole 24 hours! If you miss a "sample" then you have to start all over again and you have to do it for a whole 24 hours. I'm either out at the lake, at work (which, if we're honest here, I'm not going to do that at work. Can you imagine having to explain the big orange container you're keeping in the staff lunch fridge that you carry to the bathroom everytime you go? Yeah, no thanks!)

As of today I also still haven't gotten any of the other test results back either. I'm assuming it's because of the long holiday weekend, but if I don't see test results in my inbox early next week, I'll be contacting the doctor.

Weekly Weigh-In 13.0

Weigh-In
Last weigh-in: 326.8 lbs
Current weigh-in: 326.8 lbs
Change: No change

I'm a slacker. I've not only been lacking in the blogging department, but in every other aspect as well. I'm so awfully busy at work and at home that I'm usually dragging my a$$ by the time I get home from work.

Doctor Visit

I went to see the endocrinologist yesterday. I hadn't been to this particular hospital in almost 10 years, it was really weird being back!

Anyway, I told him about my concerns with weight loss, the plateaus I seem to hit that never go away. How I'm always overheated but not sweaty. The joint pain, the migraines...etc. He had a bunch of questions for me as well. We spent probably 30 minutes going back and forth through a question and answer session.

All of that was so he could say, "Well, there's usually only 3 medically related reasons people can't lost weight."

• Hypothyroidism
  
• Cushings Disease
  
• Early Menopause
  

None of which he thinks I have. What the f&%#? Why did we just spend an hour going over questions, then discussing symptoms and treatments all so you could tell me it's most likely not any of those? Can I have my $40 co-pay back now? Please? He had me go to the lab anyway, to get tested for all 3 just in case. The worst test is the one for the Cushings Disease. I haven't done it yet. I have to pee into a large orange container for 24 hours and then take it back to the lab. It's going to be great. I can tell. (Can you smell the sarcasm?) I should know results next week. I'm kind of torn between wanting something to be wrong with me and not wanting something to be wrong with me. If something is wrong with me that means it's treatable, on the other hand though, if something isn't wrong with me, then why can't I lose weight?

Weekly Weigh-In 9.0

Weigh-In
Last weigh-in: 329.2 lbs
Current weight-in: 331 lbs
Change: +1.8 lbs

*sigh* Frustrated is a bit of an understatement.

This happens to me every time I am on a weight loss regiment. I'll lose 5 or 10 pounds, hit a rut and then can't get out of it. They always say there's a plateau after 10 lbs that you hit and after a week or so you pull out of it and lose another 10 lbs. My only problem is that I don't pull out of it. I stay in this rut for weeks and weeks until I get to the point where I'm so frustrated that I give up.

I'm not going to give it up this time but I'm not going to lie and say everything is great and I feel wonderful and positive and next week will be different and blah blah freakin' blah.

All you can really do is just keep going and try to work through it. We'll see how next week goes, yeah?

Doctor's Appt

I didn't blog about this when I found out, I don't think...but I found out in the last few weeks that my insurance doesn't cover even a penny of weight loss surgery. I wasn't sure they would, but I was hopeful atleast. I called the billing department and got an estimate of what my out of pocket expense would be and even if I set up payment plans, it wouldn't feasible until The Hubs is working again. That was a bit of a letdown, but I scheduled an appt with my doctor today to talk to him about a prescription maybe to help with weight loss. He was on board with it and then decided maybe I should meet with an Endocrinologist. I'm hoping that between the two of them they can come up with a plan that will help.

Pictures

Someone on the WW Community boards was talking about posting pictures to document your weight loss. That makes me uncomfortable, as I don't necessarily care to have my picture taken, let alone having it taken specifically for the purpose of judging my body. I tossed it around and decided to take the damn pictures and get it over with! So. Here they are...*sigh*

A 3 1/2 mile weekend

This morning when I woke up the birds were chirping. I always consider that a good sign, like maybe they're chirping because they aren't drowning in rain!

We took The Dog to the dog park and walked him out to the end of the trail where the dogs can go swimming. Only...not our dog because he doesn't like the water that much and even if it is sunny, it was still cold.

The walk down and back is a teeny bit over a half mile, so if you throw in our walk yesterday, I did just over 3 1/2 miles this weekend.

My broken ankle is throbbing, and my joints hurt...but as much as I so would love to complain about it, I'm not going to.

Surgery
I had an email from my doctor. All of my lab results came back and even though I can't read them (Um? Hello? Not a doctor.) I'm assuming they are good to go since they were emailed to me instead of in a "Yes, we need to talk" kind of phone call.

I wrote them back, asking what the next step is in proceeding with lap-band surgery and they want me to schedule a follow-up appt with my doctor. I guess that means the ball is in my court now. Why am I procrastinating then? I should be on top of this! Truth is...the more real this surgery becomes, the more worried I become. I'm not worried about dying really...but it's more of a cosmetic fear.

I've seen pictures of people after they've had surgery and they have all this loose skin hanging off of them and that is what terrifies me. How do you get rid of that? Plastic surgery?

Yes, I'll make the appt and I'll go through with the surgery. In the end it is more important to be healthy...right?

A reality check

Exercise: Tonight I walked 1.4 miles in 34:38
I am 65% of the way to my goal of walking 26.2 miles in a month (I started on January 14th so my month ends on February 14th)

My ankles hurt.
My knees hurt.
My lower back hurts.

I go on 2-3 mile walks daily and after coming home, if I sit for a few minutes and then get up to walk around, I almost collapse in pain.

It got to the point where I didn't want to exercise anymore...which is the opposite reaction I want to have.  I really enjoy walking, it feels good to be out in the fresh air, it feels good to keep track of my progress on Map My Walk. When I come home and look at my route, it makes me want to go farther the next time so I can beat my best route.

When I come home though and I can't walk or stand or move, it defeats the purpose.

I am only 30 years old.

I should not feel like this.

My health is worse than that of a 70 year old woman.

I feel crippled most of the time.

It's time to do something. Serious. Drastic. Big time. Now.

I went to the doctor yesterday. I told him everything I've been through with weight. All the pain, both emotionally and physically. I need his help. I can't do it alone anymore.

I'm not the fat chick. I don't want to be that person anymore.

He's going to refer me to a surgeon to have Lap Band surgery.