Monday, February 28, 2011

Vacations, exercise and Weight Watchers, Oh MY!

We spent a week in Los Angeles, visiting friends and family and of course...going to Disneyland. I used Map My Walk to see how far I walked each day but forgot to turn it off while we were on rides, so it recorded the length of those too. I'm not sure how accurate that would be, but I'm thinking it was probably between 3 and 4 miles a day worth of walking.

My ankles and feet were on fire the whole time, but exercising like that felt kind of amazing and I enjoyed it. When we got home, I started up with the 1.5 mile walk every day with the dog. I didn't do it on Saturday, we were resting and catching up on sleep, but I took him out Sunday in the rain, wind and icy snow and we did a little over a mile. Not our normal 1 1/2 to 2 miles, but it was a good start and I didn't let the weather stop me from going, so I'm feeling quite proud of myself for that accomplishment.

Also, I decided to re-join Weight Watchers. I was a member for a few months three years ago and dropped out when I signed on for my first go-round with weight loss surgery and had a specialized program built for me.

Since I joined on one of the last days of our vacation I blew my points out of the roof but now that I'm home and getting settled back into a normal daily routine, my points are getting better and I'm not blowing through them and the food I'm eating is getting healthier with each meal.

We won't talk about the two boxes of Girl Scout cookies I forgot I'd pre-ordered a few months ago that arrived today.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

In serious need of a neck massage

I woke up with a lovely migraine this morning. It's one of those slow burning ones right behind my forehead that goes through to my neck.

Today I was hoping to do this and take The Dog for a nice long walk, but now I'm not sure I'll even be able to get out of my recliner today.


Lastnight I upgraded to an iPhone 4, and when I got home we wanted to try out the video chat.

Let's just say I won't be doing that again. I'm so disgusted with myself and how fat I've gotten it's hard to even look at myself these days.

*sigh* I'm so done.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

A reality check

Exercise: Tonight I walked 1.4 miles in 34:38
I am 65% of the way to my goal of walking 26.2 miles in a month (I started on January 14th so my month ends on February 14th)

My ankles hurt.
My knees hurt.
My lower back hurts.

I go on 2-3 mile walks daily and after coming home, if I sit for a few minutes and then get up to walk around, I almost collapse in pain.

It got to the point where I didn't want to exercise anymore...which is the opposite reaction I want to have.  I really enjoy walking, it feels good to be out in the fresh air, it feels good to keep track of my progress on Map My Walk. When I come home and look at my route, it makes me want to go farther the next time so I can beat my best route.

When I come home though and I can't walk or stand or move, it defeats the purpose.

I am only 30 years old.

I should not feel like this.

My health is worse than that of a 70 year old woman.

I feel crippled most of the time.

It's time to do something. Serious. Drastic. Big time. Now.

I went to the doctor yesterday. I told him everything I've been through with weight. All the pain, both emotionally and physically. I need his help. I can't do it alone anymore.

I'm not the fat chick. I don't want to be that person anymore.

He's going to refer me to a surgeon to have Lap Band surgery.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Weight: 338 lbs.

Exercise: I didn't walk today. Or yesterday. I hurt my back and now it hurts to breathe. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to get out.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Scale woes

A few months ago I stood on the scale and it said that I had lost 20 lbs. To say I was elated is an understatement. 

A few weeks later I stepped on it again and it said I'd gained 40 lbs. 

I think maybe the scale is broke.  I struggle with weight, but not to that extreme.