I've gained back all of the weight that I'd worked so hard to lose. I'm back up to 338 pounds and down to my last shred of self confidence and esteem. This weekend I uploaded some pictures of me taken at Christmas and seeing how big I've gotten, really shook me. You don't really ever notice it until you see a picture of yourself after a few months.
One of things that I stopped doing when depression hit was all the walking I had been enjoying. I was doing 2 or 3 miles a day and I could feel how good it made me feel. I didn't realize how good it was for treating my depression either until I went for a walk the other day and felt so great when I got home.
I've never been one to set "New Years Resolutions". New Years is actually my least favorite holiday. It feels like all you're doing is making a bunch of promises to yourself where, at the end of the year you get to look back on the big bag of empty, unfulfilled promises.
One thing I do like to do is set goals for myself. Some of the goals I have for myself this year are:
- Focus more on me.
- Hang out with friends more
- Be more assertive when people ask my opinion, stop giving them so much power over me
- Spend more time doing things that I like to do
- Read more books
- Exercise more.
- Take more walks
- Work the Couch to 5k Training Program
- Start ticking off some of the trails on my All Trails wish list
- Save money.
- Enjoy time with my daughter.
- She's growing up so fast. She'll be 12 soon. Learn to be more patient. Learn to let her grow up.