Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I'm totally using excuses now

What the heck?

I was so "off" everything last week that I didn't even do a weigh-in. I'd tell you how, what, when and why, but really those are just excuses. When really I just haven't been doing it. I've slowly started pushing "losing weight" into the back of my mind, where it slowly dissolves into a non-priority and before long it just doesn't exist anymore in any form except the "I'm so fat...I need to lose weight." line that I use 1,000 times a day.

When I was dedicated to it, going through the process of following my plan, getting exercise everyday and actually working towards my goal, I felt great. I had confidence again. I didn't feel like a super model, but I could feel myself being healthy again. I felt good about myself.

Now that I've been slacking for two weeks, all that confidence and self esteem is gone. I am so unmotivated and unhappy that I feel worse than when I started this journey in February. I feel worse because I know I can do it. I have proof. I have proof that I can lose weight and the only reason I'm not losing weight is because I pretty much gave up.

I hit some road blocks, a minor patch of rough "real life" issues came up and what did I do? I threw in the towel on weight loss and let the rough patch consume my whole life. I sit around after work, completely immersed in some Netflix streaming movie instead of getting out and exercising. When I go for walks now, it's to the corner...just long enough for The Dog to do his "dog bidness" and come home again.

So anyway, here's to hoping that soon I find my mojo again. I need to find my motivation and my energy to want it again. This feeling of nothingness is nowhere to live long-term and I need to find that one thing that will snap me out of it.


  1. Dude, I felt like I was reading my own thoughts for a minute. I've had a rough couple of weeks myself. I was really sick, then I had to put my dog to sleep last week. My motivation these last couple of weeks has been gone. just completely gone. but even before all that I was slowly reverting back to my old bad habits and just plain old being lazy. Not going to the gym, cancelling my training sessions and eating junk.

    I actually just wrote a post myself and I made a list of things that motivate me. remember these things helps to motivate me.

  2. Thank you for the nice comment!

    Making a list is a good idea. Sometimes it just feels easier to let all the negativity consume you rather than fight your way back to the top.

    I hope you're feeling better! I'm slowly pulling out of it, but I feel like I still have a ton of weight on my shoulders.