What the heck?
I was so "off" everything last week that I didn't even do a weigh-in. I'd tell you how, what, when and why, but really those are just excuses. When really I just haven't been doing it. I've slowly started pushing "losing weight" into the back of my mind, where it slowly dissolves into a non-priority and before long it just doesn't exist anymore in any form except the "I'm so fat...I need to lose weight." line that I use 1,000 times a day.
When I was dedicated to it, going through the process of following my plan, getting exercise everyday and actually working towards my goal, I felt great. I had confidence again. I didn't feel like a super model, but I could feel myself being healthy again. I felt good about myself.
Now that I've been slacking for two weeks, all that confidence and self esteem is gone. I am so unmotivated and unhappy that I feel worse than when I started this journey in February. I feel worse because I know I can do it. I have proof. I have proof that I can lose weight and the only reason I'm not losing weight is because I pretty much gave up.
I hit some road blocks, a minor patch of rough "real life" issues came up and what did I do? I threw in the towel on weight loss and let the rough patch consume my whole life. I sit around after work, completely immersed in some Netflix streaming movie instead of getting out and exercising. When I go for walks now, it's to the corner...just long enough for The Dog to do his "dog bidness" and come home again.
So anyway, here's to hoping that soon I find my mojo again. I need to find my motivation and my energy to want it again. This feeling of nothingness is nowhere to live long-term and I need to find that one thing that will snap me out of it.
Dude, I felt like I was reading my own thoughts for a minute. I've had a rough couple of weeks myself. I was really sick, then I had to put my dog to sleep last week. My motivation these last couple of weeks has been gone. just completely gone. but even before all that I was slowly reverting back to my old bad habits and just plain old being lazy. Not going to the gym, cancelling my training sessions and eating junk.
ReplyDeleteI actually just wrote a post myself and I made a list of things that motivate me. remember these things helps to motivate me.
Thank you for the nice comment!
ReplyDeleteMaking a list is a good idea. Sometimes it just feels easier to let all the negativity consume you rather than fight your way back to the top.
I hope you're feeling better! I'm slowly pulling out of it, but I feel like I still have a ton of weight on my shoulders.